How the ADF stole Christmas
All the Whos in Cupertino liked Christmas a lot,
"This is bad" they decried, "Everyone's all aglow!"
"We need to make trouble, raise donation rates."
Why were they so greedy? Nobody knows.
Could be their Mercedeses needed upgrading
But most people know, beyond any doubt
So the lawyers sought trouble, they looked far and wide.
They found a Who teacher, who'd fought with his boss,
"Join with us" said the lawyers "You'll be on TV!"
The Who signed the contract, with no way to know,
"Yipee" said the lawyers, "let start with the lies"
"Send a memo to Reuters, call Sean Hannity,
"Say they viciously banned their beloved Constitution,
"The Declaration, that hangs on their library wall,
"We'll claim that we fight every mean pagan commie.
"We'll call out our whackos; they'll phone in our threats,
So they lied during broadcasts, and they lied in between,
They lied on the radio, lied on web.
So the Whos had a meeting, said "what can we do?"
We'll call up the press and show who we are.
We'll show off our flags, and our many fine churches,
So what if we're not all fair-skinned and white,
We'll keep our great school, we'll keep our high standards,